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Learn the Facts
What 15,000 families told
Spark Conversation:
Activities to get kids talking
Interest in race and racism, diversity and inclusion is growing, but many parents and caregivers are still searching for the “right” way to introduce the conversation and to answer young children’s questions. Print the guide in English, Spanish, or Chinese, or scroll down to explore the interactive version of “Discussing Race With Young Children.”
To inform the creation of this guide, we worked with top researchers. We surveyed 15,000 families from across the United States and conducted more than 50 parent-child interviews across races and ethnicities to better understand how families approach conversations on race and racism. Read the research.
Between 6 and 12 months, babies begin to show a preference for members of their own racial groups (source). By 9 months old, infants looked longer at own‐race faces paired with happy music than at own‐race faces paired with sad music (source). From their earliest age, children are picking up on status from the culture around them (source).
When asked how prepared they felt to discuss these stories with their kids on a scale of 1-5, and Black parents felt equally unprepared as White parents (with an average rating for both families of 2.4 out of 5).
Families of color have conversations earlier with their children about race and racism and use different words when they're talking about these topics. When discussing the situations in the prompts all families used words such as unfair vs. fair, and right vs. wrong, but Black families were far more likely than White families to use the terms racist and racism.
The top three places kids reported hearing stereotypes are:
Kids of color are more likely than White kids to feel that their race/ethnicity is not well-portrayed in movies and on television: 55% of Black kids said their race was not portrayed well, compared to 45% of Hispanic kids, 40% of Asian kids, and 30% of White kids.
In the "Let's Talk About Race & Racism Research," a young Asian boy pointed out that most princesses he has seen have light skin, not dark. One young Black girl told her mother she thought robbers were Black because that’s all she’s seen on TV shows and in movies.
"There are potentially years during which kids are starting to think about race and coming to their own impressions of what it means before parents broach the topic. It’s a missed opportunity for parents to help frame that discussion in constructive ways."
“The fear of talking about race makes parents avoid talking about it at all. But you can’t just react to situations as they arise or wait for your kids to ask questions. You need to be intentional about what you want your kids to know about race."
Real parents share their stories from their families related to identity, race, and racism. What happened? What did they say? What did they do? What did they learn? And what questions remain?
Identity is what makes me me and what makes you you. Cooking or baking analogies can help children to understand identity. You might say, “All of the special ingredients in a chocolate chip cookie make it unique and special! Every single person is unique and special, too. The ingredients that make each of us unique form our identity.” You might then invite your child to write or draw different aspects of their identity, such as what they like and don’t like, what they look like, their family and cultural background, and their family traditions. You can use tools like My Big Heart: An All About Me Coloring Book to help your child explore identity. Helping children explore their own identity helps them to understand that race is just one of the things that defines them.
You could say something like, “Race is one part of our identity. Race can mean lots of things, but it usually means how people look — such as the color of their skin, the way their hair feels and looks, and things like different shapes of noses and eyes. We all look different and sometimes this is because of our race. Isn’t it cool that we all look different?” You could talk about your family’s race, and the different races of friends or characters from favorite stories to help your child understand the idea.
You could start by referencing a situation in which something was unfair (even if it wasn’t related to race), such as two kids not getting the same amount of ice cream. You could then say something like, “Sometimes people are treated unfairly. It can be on purpose or by accident. Either way, it doesn’t make people feel good!” You can then explain that sometimes people are not treated fairly because of the color of their skin; that is called racism. Make it clear to your child that people are equal and all people should be treated equally, no matter their race, religion, ethnicity, or other characteristics. Over time, you can empower your child to be an upstander who stands up for him/herself or others who are facing bias or racism.
Use these terms alongside this guide in conversations with your child.
“I’m excited that you’re going to be able to practice with your family, with this guide, and it’ll create for you a hunger to practice and to do this work in the future.” — Dr. Riana Elyse Anderson
“You can build your confidence for those unscripted questions that come your way. And believe me, they will come your way.” — Dr. Kira Banks
“This guide can help by providing different tools to support you in this process. And it IS a process.” — Dr. Charissa Cheah
This guide accompanies us as we play, listen, and learn with our children. I am sure that in these conversations and guides, you will come up with even more questions — but you will also learn something new and feel supported. This is not easy work, but with help like this guide provides, it can be beautiful, fun, and rewarding.
Spending time exploring this guide is just the beginning! You can keep talking, observing, and learning together with your child — through the books you read, the people you meet, the activities you do and the conversations you have. Here are a few activity prompts from Big Heart World that can keep the learning going in your family:
Download and print a PDF file of “Discussing Race With Young Children: A Step-by-Step Activity Guide.”
It contains the illustrations, definitions, and much more that you can use to prompt meaningful conversations in your family!
Visit our Race Guide Educator Companion, which can help you use the illustrations and other content with students 2-6 years old in your classroom.
“Discussing Race” is the the product of years of partnership, conversations, meetings, and collaboration with Nickelodeon and Noggin, as well as our partners at Content for Change. Sparkler Learning is deeply grateful to these partners, as well as to many other organizational partners (listed here) who informed the creation of this resource and are helping to share it with families and educators. THANK YOU!
