Category: Care

A Song for Your Child

Music: It’s magical! It can soothe anxious, cranky, or crying children, ease them into sleep, calm their worries, invite them into playfulness, and make difficult transitions smoother. 

Music and singing are parenting superpowers.

Singing and creating songs for each other is also a powerful way to express our love and care.

As the resident musician at Start Early’s Educare Chicago school, I work with mothers and fathers to help them write and sing personal lullabies for their babies, supporting maternal health, aiding childhood development, and strengthening the bond between parent and child.
In this article, we give ALL parents the tools they need to start working this type of musical magic in their own homes with their own children. You don’t need to be a singer/songwriter/musician — or even musical — to give your child the gift of music. 
Anne-Marie Akin, the author, singing with Baby Ethan. Early childhood teachers may recognize Anne-Marie as the creator of the popular children’s tune, “The Milkshake Song.” Her recordings for children include “Songs for Wiggleworms,” and “Wiggleworms Love You.”
How would you like to create a song for your child?

It might seem like a big, mysterious process to write a song, but it’s not. You probably already make up small songs all the time for your child without even realizing it. 

We can ALL write songs — we naturally have the tools! We usually don’t notice when we are humming to ourselves or making word patterns in our heads. That’s a songwriting tool! Another set of tools are the silly songs and rhymes we all make up featuring our children’s names. 

As you start to think of the words for a song for your child, remember: 

  • Children love repetition — and it’s good for them developmentally. 
  • Nothing fancy! You don’t need a fancy set of lyrics or an elaborate melody to create a song that will be meaningful to you and your child. 
  • Even just singing their name — maybe with an added rhyming word, maybe just their name — is a special musical moment for your little one and you.

You can start brainstorming with these prompts:

  • Do you want a slow sleepy song, or something upbeat?
  • What is your child’s name? A name can inspire a whole song!
  • Is there a special story behind your child’s name?
  • Are there nicknames you use in your family? These can become part of your song.
  • Does your child have a special stuffed animal or lovey, a favorite food, color, animal? Think about including your child’s “favorites” In your song.

As you keep thinking about your song, consider these questions:

  • What are your dreams for your child?
  • What is unique and beloved to you about your child?
  • What do you and your child enjoy together?

The answers to any, or all, of these questions can help you create a special song to share with your child!

But what about a tune?

You can turn any hum or rhythm into your own song!

Or you can use one of our accompaniment tracks as an easy way to create a melody. 

Listen to a few notes of the music composed by Sam Wolsk and me (Anne-Marie Akin), then say your child’s name out loud in response to it — kind of like a question and answer. The music calls a little, then you respond, singing (or saying) your child’s name back. Try this with your child or on your own. Before you know it, you will have built a little song!

Track 1: Lullaby Ballad by Sam Wolsk & Anne-Marie Akin
Track 2: Lullaby Happy Bop by Sam Wolsk & Anne-Marie Akin

If you want to add more than just your child’s name name, you can create more lyrics. Try some of these song templates or create your own. Adding your child’s name makes it even more personal.

Get started with a lullaby template!

Here are some templates you can use to start writing your own song for your child. Feel free to adjust the number of name repetitions based on your own child’s name. 

"Happy Tune" Template

I like your ____________, 

Child’s name, Child’s name, Child’s name

I like your ______________, child’s name

And we both like to ______________. (something you like to do together! Dance? Run? Snuggle?)

"Dance Song" Template

Create a song using dance motions (Clap your hands! Fly like a bird) and your child’s name.

"Sleep Tune" Template

Child’s name, child’s name, close your eyes

Child’s name, child’s name, rest awhile

Tomorrow we will  __________________

But now it’s sleepy time.

"I Love You" Template

(This template uses comparisons. You can choose things that are important to you and your child! Think: as deep as, as wide as, as high as, as sweet as, as long as…)

I love you as ________ as _______

As __________ as ________________

Sleep my _____________

Sleep my _______________

I love you.

Share Your Song!

Once you have a draft of your first song, share it with your child! Be sure to watch his or her little face listening to your song. 

And, if you want, please share it on social media (tag us @bigheartworld). We’d love to hear your song, too!

"Thank You" to Sam Wolsk, who arranged the music!
Sam Wolsk

Here’s Sam’s bio: Sam is a graduate of Northwestern University’s Bienen School of Music, where he earned a dual major in jazz studies and psychology. He is the founder of DW Jazz Orchestra, an ensemble that plays in Chicago and New York. Sam also plays piano and trumpet for Honey Butter, a local R&B/pop band. He has composed and arranged dozens of jazz and pop pieces, and he loves teaching his students how to play their favorite songs. He sees music as one of the most important avenues of self-expression and connection to others, and he loves equipping his students with the tools and techniques to participate in the conversation.

Learn More about the National Lullaby Project

Anne-Marie has been part of an effort called the National Lullaby Project, created by Carnegie Hall in New York. The project pairs professional artists with new parents to help them create their own lullabies for thier children. Learn more about the Lullaby Project. Listen to this piece by WBEZ Chicago to learn more more about Anne-Marie’s work in Chicago at WBEZ Chicago. 

July 6, 2021 by Julia Levy 0 Comments

Seven Ways Parents Can Help Their Kids Cultivate Post-Covid Friendships

Dr. Kavita Tahilani

COVID-19 has interrupted school and playdates, music classes and soccer clubs — straining children’s friendships and limiting their opportunities to interact with peers.

Now, as families eye the end of the pandemic, Big Heart World talked with Dr. Kavita Tahilani, mother of a young child and a Child and Adolescent Psychologist at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, to get tips on how parents can help their kids prepare to interact with peers, rekindle friendships, and make new friends. 

“We are all social beings,” Dr. Tahilani said. “Social interaction is important for all of us, at any age. I think it’s really important for kids and teenagers because it’s such a part of their development and their growth and their emotional growth for them to be able to experience caring for individuals and others outside of their family, for them to be able to see how their actions impact others and how others can have an impact on them, and for them to develop empathy.” 

Seven Tips Parents Can Use to Help Their Children Transition Back to "New Normal"

Dr. Tahilani shared seven tips to help parents support their children as we start to transition back to a new “normal.”

  • Practice Interacting With Peers

“Figure out smaller, less intense ways for kids to start to practice interacting with peers,” she advised. Every child is different, but parents should consider introducing social interactions this summer in ways that feel safe to their family. This could mean having an outdoor playdate or getting together with another family outside. It could mean encouraging your child to interact with new kids at the playground or in another safe setting. 

  • Understand Your Child’s Concerns

If your child is anxious about something social — like an upcoming playdate or meeting new kids after summer break — start with conversation. “Make sure you’re communicating with your child about what their concerns are. Is it that they’re concerned about COVID specifically? Or are they concerned that they don’t know how to talk to kids anymore?” Dr. Tahilani said. “It’s important to understand what your child is nervous about, so you can make sure you’re solving the right problem.”

  • Get Back on a Regular Routine

Your schedule might have been a little different during COVID-19 and over the summer, but at least two weeks before school starts, Dr. Tahilani advised families to embrace structure and expectations around things like waking up, eating meals at regular times, bathing, and going to bed on time. Keeping a routine will help with the transition back to school, which will help with everything — including making friends. 

  • Practice Going Back to School

“A lot of times, kids will have what we call anticipatory anxiety,” Dr. Tahilani said. “There might be a lot of anticipatory anxiety leading up to the first day of school. For some kids, once they get there, once they’re in the classroom, they’ll adjust. For some kids, it’s going to be stressful for them throughout the day.” Talk with your child about their feelings before something new happens, practice strategies they can use if they’re feeling stressed, and rehearse. For example, you and your child can role play going to school, introducing themselves, and finding something in common with a new classmate. The rehearsal could have some real-life elements: try driving or walking to school before the first day, looking around, and playing at the playground so that your child knows what to expect. 

  • Parents: You should lead the way!

As it becomes safer to see friends, parents can model how to be a good friend by getting together with their friends. For some parents, Dr. Tahilani said this might mean facing their own anxiety about post-pandemic mingling. But, she said, it’s important to remember: “Even if you’re not having specific conversations with your child about anxiety or feelings or friendship, they’re still watching and you’re still the model for them.” 

  • This might take practice!

“I think this is a moment where we all need to be mindful of our expectations,” Dr. Tahilani said. “It may take kids some time to readjust to whatever this new normal is going to be. Have patience and keep trying.”

  • Don’t push too hard. 

Challenges are good, but be careful not to push too hard. “I think this is a moment where we all need to be mindful of our expectations,” Dr. Tahilani said. “It may take kids some time to readjust to whatever this new normal is going to be. Have patience and keep trying.”


Please Note: Parents who are seriously concerned about their children’s shyness or reluctance to socialize should talk to their children’s pediatricians. 

March 16, 2021 by Michelle Vinson 0 Comments

Calming Down is Hard To Do

Tantrums and meltdowns are high-stress moments for children and caregivers alike. As grown-ups, we want to help children process and control their strong emotions so moments like these occur less frequently. 

But before we can start teaching self regulation — helping children manage their emotions and behaviors — we need to lay the groundwork. Remember: Young children just recently learned to walk, talk, and control their bladders. Jumping right to managing emotions can be a heavy lift! 

Here are three important prerequisites that we should work on before helping children learn to control their emotions: 

  1. Put Safety First

Before children are able to self-regulate, they need to feel safe both physically and emotionally. They need to know that their grown-ups support them and are going to listen to them and protect them. You help your child feel emotional security by sticking to a daily routine and by building time into your routine to listen and talk. Knowing that they have your attention gives children a sense of security. It also helps them feel safe to talk about feelings and gives you an opportunity to validate their thoughts and feelings. When you intentionally give affection and praise and even say the words “you are safe,” it helps children feel secure. It seems simple, but it’s powerful, especially after big emotions or moments of uncertainty. 

  1. Build Connections

It’s important to build a positive relationship, rooted in trust, before attempting to teach children more advanced skills. You do this by being present and making eye contact; giving a high five or a hug; and playing! When you play together, let your child take the lead. Even 10 minutes a day can make a big difference. This Connected Families video: Spending Special Time With Your Child has more tips on building connections. 

  1. Lead the Way

You’re a role model to the children in your life; they will mirror what they see YOU do. When they see you face frustrations and work through them in a positive way, they learn how to do it themselves. You don’t have to give a child a play-by-play of a frustrating work call, but you can talk to them, in age-appropriate ways, about how you feel and what you do about it. Having a meltdown from feeling strong emotions is expected from young children, and we can help them process their feelings by modeling self-awareness and showing them how to express feelings in healthy ways.

  1. Introduce the Feelings

Before a child can regulate emotions, they have to know how to identify those feelings with words — from happy to sad to angry. Talk about what our faces look like when we’re sad or what our bodies feel like when we’re mad. (This Connected Families video, Labeling and Acknowledging Emotions, will help learn more about the feelings.) 

After you build trust, help your child feel safe, and guide them in understanding emotions, then you get to work with him or her learning to manage emotions — especially the BIG feelings that can lead to tantrums, meltdowns, and stress.